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new and improved

Oct. 28th, 2003 | 12:24 pm
mood: hopefulhopeful

someone (a stranger, actually) inquired about my livejournal.

i directed her, and will direct all of you to the new and improved blog at emlocke * star


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camp in 10 hours!

Jun. 15th, 2003 | 12:49 am
mood: excitedexcited
music: Ben Folds - The Luckiest

I'm so ready to get out of here! It's probably going to rain and be gross at camp tomorrow, but I'm so excited to be back there. Ok, really, I'm nervous, but I'm excited for the moment when I stop being nervous and it just feels right b/c I have faith that it will happen. It has every other year for the past ten years!

Write to me at

Camp Jewell YMCA
6 Prock Hill Road
Colebrook, CT

and stay tuned for my Hamilton contact info.

on the loose!

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maybe i'll pack tomorrow?

Jun. 14th, 2003 | 01:54 am
mood: crushedcrushed
music: Sesame Street - Ernie - I Don't Want to Live On the Moon

I'm leaving for camp in less than 36 hours and all I have in my trunk are two sweatshirts and two pairs of jeans. So it looks like I've made some progress right? No, these happen to be items that I don't actually plan on taking...I want different sweatshirts and different jeans, but they're still in the laundry, damnit! Maybe that's b/c I haven't even graced the laundry room in four days...

Anyway, I don't even remember what to bring to camp. What did I bring last year? I remember my little Honda being absolutely loaded on the way home...no one could even sit in the passenger seat! That was funny. I should remind myself that just b/c I drive a bigger car now, that doesn't mean I can bring twice as much stuff! But that shouldn't be a problem b/c, well, I mentioned the sweatshirt/jeans issue already.

Things I Should Bring to Camp
bug spray - even though it's for wimps
a flashlight - for lending to the campers since I'm obviously too good for flashlights
sneakers - my sandals actually burned scars into my feet last summer
socks - to go with said sneakers
PMA - I must have some left over somewhere
Isabelephant - everyone needs a stuffed elephant in a lavender sweatsuit with an adorably crooked trunk at one point or another

Things I Should Not Bring to Camp
according to Mo - the kitchen sink
food - the beauty of camp food is that it's so bad you can't even eat it and last summer I lost 16 pounds by living off bananas and peanut butter and jelly
insecurities - can I dump those in the garbage on the way in? I'm gonna need a big can

Things I Wish I Could Bring to Camp
my computer - duh, we're attached at the hip
Maggie - although, she would take up a lot of space in my bunk
my junior prom gown - for no particular reason, I just really liked it
more than 2 pillows - one to sleep on, one to hug! and extras just to have around

I have to drive to NY tomorrow with my dad to scope out the court house where I'll appear in my infamous speeding ticket arraingment. Did you ever think you'd see me in court? Nope, me neither! Even though I'm petrified, I think I'm more nervous about spending two hours in the car with my father. Somebody needs to call me every five minutes and remind me to keep my cool.

I really don't want to give up my new car stereo anymore. Since I ordered it pre-speeding ticket, I guess I feel like I don't really deserve it now, and I KNOW my dad doesn't think I do! I guess I came up with giving it to him for Father's Day b/c I wanted to A) make him happy in general and B) make him happy with ME. But as the days have gone by and I see it everyday and wish it was in my car instead of awaiting installment in his, I've realized that he's never going to be impressed with me, least of all with a gift. My mom flipped out when she saw how awesome my MHC grades were, and my dad said, "Wow, great, that's great" and went back to watching golf. Not even a hug for the student. And I expect him to be happy about a Father's Day gift? The man probably doesn't even know that it's Father's Day. OR, he does know, and he's just messing with my mind. He's good at that. Either way, sulking in the car for almost 3 hours last night after I fought with him would have been a lot more entertaining if I had had some music! Ironically, I only waited out there hoping that he would come find me and tell me everything would be ok. Or at least that something would be ok. He didn't even turn on the flood lights for me. Just went to bed. Gotta love it.

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better judgement?

Jun. 12th, 2003 | 11:46 pm
mood: embarrassedembarrassed

Can someone teach me better judgement? I mean, really now, I'm 19. I've been alive for almost 2 decades. I've been making educated decisions for like, 15 years, and I've been making really really silly decisions for 14 of them.

Things I Just HAD to Do, Against my So-Called Better Judgement
A) refuse to go grocery shopping
B) storm out of the house in the rain
C) sulk in the car for 2 hours hoping one of my parents would worry and come look for me
D) and, oh, yeah right, hook up with a certain person.

damn it.

Speaking of that, am I just an ass or what? Way to screw up a perfectly awkward just friends relationship. And then I just had to push it, "Hey, can we be friends with benefits?" Yeah, now we're not even FRIENDS.

Speaking of THAT, I'm nervous about camp. As it is, I'm always nervous b/c I'm afraid people will

A) forget who I am
B) realize that they don't like me anymore
C) remember that they never liked me in the first place

And the worst part about this summer is obviously going to be returning to face all the people before which I played out my little (and by little I mean big) boy drama last summer.

Well, I'm a little bit damp from walking a mile home in the storm, so i'm going to go sulk in my nice dry bed for awhile.

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(no subject)

Jun. 12th, 2003 | 03:25 pm
mood: sleepysleepy

I'm learning to enjoy LiveJournal if only for the fact that I can now spend a great deal of time coming up with new things to add to my interests list. Thinking of all the random things that make me happy, well, it makes me happy!

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(no subject)

Aug. 21st, 2002 | 08:27 am

yeah new live journal.com

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